The day after Thanksgiving, I had grown super frustrated. I was 14 days late, extremely bloated, and so very sick of everyone suggesting that I may be pregnant that I actually had my husband bring me a pregnancy test while I was at work (at my family’s business). We were not in the point in our lives where we were “trying” so we had measures in place, and to top it off, a few months prior I had been curious so I took some home tests and we realized I wasn’t even ovulating (we assumed because of my weight). We had made a plan to take some time and lose the weight so I could be the healthiest version of myself when I carried a baby. With that said, I confidently walked into the bathroom like it was any other time knowing that I would come out and wave that test around telling everyone “I told you so!”
“Pregnant 1-2 Weeks” Excitement. Confusion. Bewilderment. Awe. Back to Excitement. Fear. Overwhelmed. Panicked. Excited again. Amazed. I cannot even tell you the roller coaster of emotions I went on all just in 30 seconds. I’m a very logical person and things just were not lining up for me. We were taking precautions. To top it off, I wasn’t even ovulating. (We later learned that when I had joined Weight Watchers and lost 20 pounds, my body must have kick started back up on the ovulation front.) But wait. I was at work. My mom and brother were on the other side of the door. Thankfully, my husband hadn’t left yet.
I always imagined telling my husband he was going to be a father in a sweet way involving a photo shoot he would reluctantly agree to and then I would have a sign and the photographer would be able to capture his joyful reaction and we would have that memory to share forever and ever. Ha! Nope, instead, our sweet moment involved me pulling him into the bathroom so he could be the first person to know. I’m pretty sure I accidentally got pee on him when I shoved the pregnancy test in his hand to tell him we were pregnant. However, I must admit, it was still the sweet and loving moment I had always dreamed of. I think the last time I saw my husband so happy and full of pure joy was on our wedding day. Nothing was how I always dreamed it would be. I was at work. In a bathroom frequently used by more people than just my immediate family. At a time where we were completely surprised…and scared. But seeing my husband so happy, so proud, and so in awe of God’s ways made me realize this was perfect.
Those of you who know us, or have even read my blog before, know how closely we hold our faith. Finding out we were pregnant was a new challenge that God has been walking us through from the very moment we found out. I will never be able to tell my husband how much I appreciate him immediately sensing my fear and reminding me that God’s plan is so much bigger and better than our own plans & no matter what happened in these next 9 months or these next 18 years, we will continue to believe in that.
Our moment. Crazy. Unconventional. So frightening. In a bathroom. But perfect.